CNN.com – Hussein: Shoot me if found guilty – Jul 26, 2006
I can’t wait for the movie version of his capture and trial. It will be like Saving Private Ryan plus A Few Good Men, except ten times awesomer. The media coverage of this makes it sound like Hussein is playing the charismatic lunatic really well, ranting and raving and refusing to give up on his principles. Sometimes it gets easy to forget that the guy slaughtered his own people when it suited him, and that he doesn’t like us Americans very much.
But when I read that he said he should be shot like a military man, not hung like a criminal, I envision the end of _Lionheart _that I just saw on TNT the other day where Van Damme is standing over the big bad guy he just beat and the blond woman who runs things is standing next to him looking like she’s trying to inhale herself out of her dress because it’s so tense, and Van Damme is about to kill the guy, but then he doesn’t. If that guy was Saddam Hussein, and Van Damme was George Bush, and the blond woman was maybe Condi or someone . . . Hussein looks Bush in the eye and says, “Shoot me”. And for a second you think Bush is going to do it, but then he relaxes and turns around and walks away.
Or maybe you like the Lethal Weapon/Bad Boys/Die Hard ending, where they think the guy is toast, but then he has another gun and as Bush is walking away, Hussein pulls the gun out in slow motion, and then Dick Cheney shoots him in the face. Bush could smile and say, “Thanks, Dick”, and the audience would laugh. I should be a screenwriter. This would be the best movie ever.