This morning I biked past a dog poop bag
someone had left
in the middle of the road.
A few seconds later, as the car behind me approached,
I heard a loud pop.
I did not look back
Google hacks
You remember how Google search used to be awesome? You could put in the randomest thing and it would find it for you? There was even the button to go straight to the first result because we were THAT SURE it would be what we wanted?
Then the SEO Wars and AI killed that, and now even searching directly for a company by name because you forgot their phone number brings up absolute garbage.
Yesterday I was looking up the number for Aspen Hill Plumbing, who I use all the time. They’re good over email and I loathe the phone, but I needed to get a hold of them immediately.
Google not only showed me an ad for a competitor first, they also USED THE NAME OF THE COMPANY I WAS LOOKING FOR. This is absolutely not okay. Showing the competitor first because they bought a competitor’s name as a search term is slimy but totally accepted nowadays. But presenting one company as another? I’ve never seen that before on a reputable website.
Then this morning I saw this.
And you know what? It fucking works.
You don’t even have to spell the profanity right.
I think what we need now is a “Let Me Google That For You” for the AI Era – you type your search term, and it adds profanity and returns you the results you’re actually looking for.
Saving family photos
This was an oddly spiritual process. We take pictures of the moments we think are valuable or important. So, in the photos he took, I saw my father’s dreams, the things he thought were beautiful, his moments of pride. And in so doing, I gained more understanding of who my parents were.
As someone who is going through the process of digitizing decades of family photos, this essay resonated with me. I’m more of the mindset “scan it all, storage is cheap”, but she’s probably right that you should be quick to throw out stuff that just isn’t good.
It’s cool that this is coming from a person who knows and loves photos, but isn’t a serious photographer (at least she doesn’t present herself as one). Her insights on what makes a good photo for preserving family memories are really interesting.
I took this as inspiration to talk to my kids. They don’t like to be photographed, and while I can’t turn that around completely, I can try to make them more comfortable with it. After all, you get better pictures from a subject that is comfortable being photographed (or oblivious, but that can have other drawbacks).
It’s funny when she says she usually got 8 worth sharing out of a box of 24-36 slides. I remember Bob, one of my photography mentors and a coworker at Ritz Camera when I was in college, telling me that if he got ONE shot out of a roll of 36 he considered that a success. “Film’s cheap”, he told me. The Ritz employee discount helped, and digital photos have completely changed the calculus.
Anyway, I’m going to take more photos of my family. You should, too.
This is why you always pay with a credit card
Yesterday morning around 10am, I got a notification of a charge on my credit card. I didn’t recognize it – it was about $10 at walmart.com. We generally do not patronize union-busting establishments (don’t ask me about my Amazon Prime account), so this was unusual. I called Capital One and they cancelled the card. This was frustrating, though necessary, since I know the number by heart and I’ve become somewhat attached to it.
By 1130, I had a notification on my phone that my card number on Google Pay had been updated so I could continue to use Google Pay even though my physical card was cancelled.
Noon today, my new card arrived via FedEx.
It’s really amazing that in barely more than 24 hours, the ONLY issue I have is having to memorize a new card number. Capital One even updated the number at many of my existing recurring payments, and provided a list of those they were not able to change themselves. I’m going to wait until I get an email saying they couldn’t charge my card because I’m lazy, but I appreciate the thought.
So, just one more reason to get a Capital One Venture X card. It’s about $400 a year but that comes with a $300 travel credit if you book through their service. It covered my Global Entry fee, and there are a ton of other benefits. It’s the best credit card I’ve ever used.
Mortgage companies and condo insurance
Do you own a condo? Have you recently gotten a breathless letter from your mortgage company telling you that the insurance policy for your building is expiring and all life on Earth is about to end in a fiery apocalypse if you don’t show them proof of insurance?
So, here’s the thing. Nearly all condo building policies are written for one year. Your mortgage company knows this. So when they send you this letter, it’s the same as a letter saying, “When you got approved for your loan, you said you were 36 years old. Now our records indicate you are 37, you dirty liar. We will murder you and your dog in your sleep if you do not rectify this IMMEDIATELY”.
Martinis I have known
My maternal grandmother taught everyone she could to drink gin martinis. I don’t necessarily love her style of martini, but luckily there are lots of different kinds, so nearly anyone can find one they love. Or you can even get one of those ridiculous things full of coffee liqueur or whatever that they serve in a martini glass. Those aren’t real martinis but I’m not judging.
Grandma’s Martini
In many ways, Grandma was a martini purist. To make her signature martini, around 2 pm, measure 4 ounces of gin in a measuring cup. Add a splash of vermouth. Put it in the freezer until cocktail hour.
Unfortunate Martini
Never order a martini from an all-inclusive resort in Dominican Republic. At least, not from the one I went to for a wedding some years ago. To make this martini, pour a shot of gin into a soda glass. Add a bit of ice, then fill the glass with vermouth.
Jalapeno Martini
I don’t know the exact recipe, I had it at a restaurant in New Orleans, but I think it’s jalapeno-infused gin, a bit of sweet vermouth, and a small lightly pickled strip of jalapeno. Delightful.
My Favorite Martini
Grab a bottle of gin. Pour a healthy amount into a rocks glass. While doing this, tell the gin a story about a bottle of vermouth you once saw. Grab a couple of olives. Throw the olives in the [expletive deleted] garbage because olives are [expletive deleted] vile. Look, I tried some really good olives on a food tour in Madrid last spring. They were [expletive deleted] vile. You can not change my mind. Finish your story about the vermouth. Sit somewhere comfortable with your feet up, preferably where there is at least a slight breeze, regardless of the weather. Enjoy.
If none of these float your boat, you can put literally anything in a martini glass and call it a martini. No one will stop you. Go ahead, try it!
Take my content, please!
As someone who does not make a living creating content, I WANT my content used to train LLMs. Go on, Open AI, slurp up EVERY LITTLE MORSEL. Get every last pearl of wisdom from my dumbass blog.
Read my thoughts on compact flourescent lightbulbs from 2006 so you can quote that back to a high school student writing a research paper.
Or how about this FLAMING hot take on Al Gore? So profound.
Even better – read every last word of my wine blog, completely generated by a Markov chain (precursor to modern LLMs) trained on Wine Spectator reviews. That’ll be real helpful for some dingbat trying to impress a girl he just met.
You can’t just declare Vision Zero and have it happen
Traffic fatalities have doubled since D.C.’s promise of zero [gift link]
D.C.’s Vision Zero plan has relied heavily on camera enforcement to catch speeders, who are more likely to cause dangerous crashes. But The Post found that of the 33 people killed in traffic crashes this year, nine died within 250 feet of a traffic camera.
There’s A LOT to unpack here about inequitable streets and placement of traffic cameras, and I’m not going to do it here because it’s already been done by people who know more about it than I do.
The problem with DC’s Vision Zero is that Mayor Bowser did it like Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy on The Office. Saying you’re going to do Vision Zero is great, but unfortunately for DC, that’s where it ended.
You may not know what Vision Zero IS, aside from a plan to get to zero traffic fatalities. That’s ok. I have a great analogy. We go live to the press conference.
Voiceover: Mayor Muriel Bowser presents…. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s new diet.
Mayor Muriel Bowser (standing at podium. On the podium is a jumbo slice of pizza and a Bud Light): Thank you for coming. I am pleased to announce that, going forward, I will be on a 100% paleo diet. The diet of our prehistoric ancestors, truly native Washingtonians, is the only way foward.
MMB: (Takes large bite of pizza)
Reporter: Mayor Bowser, aren’t dairy and grains forbidden in a paleo diet?
MMB (takes long drink from Bud Light): The first inhabitants of Washington DC ,some hundred million years ago, followed a strict paleo diet, and so will I.
Reporter: Alcohol isn’t allowed either…
MMB (Glares): Off with his head.
Cars I’ve owned
While I’m a bike and pedestrian advocate, we still live in a society where it’s pretty tough to live without a car. And I DO like to drive. Today Facebook reminded me it’s been four years since our trusty Mazda 3 was rear-ended. Given that our latest car was stolen two weeks ago (a story for another day), I got to thinking about the cars I’ve had.
1988 Acura Integra
This was my first car. My parents bought it for me because I was going to high school an hour away from home and they couldn’t get me there (at least not without turning their lives upside down). Such a great little car. Reliability of a Honda Civic but SO much more fun to drive. I didn’t have it long – I was rear-ended on 97N on the way to take the AP Spanish test. I got a ride to school from a Maryland state trooper and I was deeply disappointed that everyone was in class by then so no one saw me getting dropped off.
1989 Acura Integra
Insurance paid for the replacement. This was one trim level up from the first one. I loved it even more. Both Integras had giant subwoofers in the trunk and I installed a kill switch to turn them off as I approached my house so my mom didn’t get mad. When I went to college I didn’t get to keep the car. I think my siblings ran it into the ground.
1988 Honda Accord
It had 175,000 miles when I got it. Incredibly well-maintained, incredibly boring. It had a manual transmission and a sunroof, though, so it wasn’t all bad.
1995 Toyota Tacoma
This was the first car I purchased myself. Manual transmission, 4X4. It could drive over anything. Highlights include 1) putting a tarp in the back for a house party, filling it with ice, and using it as a cooler 2) pulling a stuck Chevy pickup out of the mud 3) driving in the snow 4) having a cicada fly in the window on 66 and explode against the back window. Lowlights were mostly helping literally everyone in the DMV move at one time or another. It had 70K miles when I bought it. I sold it to my then-brother-in-law with 235K and the original clutch. It broke 250k before the transmission died on him and he got rid of it. It’s probably still out there somewhere.
2006 Mazda 3
My first new car. I had just bought a condo and was living on my own for the first time. The condo was not the greatest investment (absolute peak of the market, I had a $31,000 escalation clause on my offer) but the I got my money’s worth out of the Mazda. It drove my wife to the birth center to give birth to both our kids and carted them around through middle school. It was rear-ended on the way home from Rehoboth summer of 2020.
2020 Toyota RAV4 hybrid
First time I ever owned an automatic transmission. Good car. You could coax 52 MPG out of it if you were easy on the gas. 40 MPG with normal driving. It was stolen from outside our hotel in Montreal two weeks ago.
Next?
Almost definitely another RAV4 hybrid. I would love something fully electric but they are SUPER expensive and we don’t have off-street parking to charge it, so it would be a constant hassle.
Wrong upi isue [issue]
I have no idea how this happens, but one of the most popular pages on this site, which has SO MUCH super great content, is a search for”Wrong upi isue”. I don’t know what a UPI is so I can guarantee you are not going to find a satisfactory answer to this question at this website. Sorry.