Pre-Vegas timeline of incompetence and sorrow

Thursday 1:00PM – Leave work, giddy with anticipation 3:30PM – Leave home, Sam in tow, to pick up Evan 3:36PM – Return home to feed cat so fiancée can go to happy hour 4:00PM – Arrive at Mike’s office to carpool to airport 4:11PM – Arrive at Dulles Airport 4:30PM – Check in, breeze through security 4:32PM – Realize that our flight is delayed. 4:45PM – Realize that we will now miss our connection in Dallas 5:30PM – Find out there are no more flights from Dallas to Vegas 6:03PM – Leave airport, new boarding passes for Friday morning in hand 6:15PM – Arrive at restaurant to drown our sorrows 6:30PM – Very nice waitress tells us “dead baby” jokes to try and raise our spirits 7:00PM – Our spirits slightly raised, we go our separate ways. 8:00PM – Join fiance at happy hour Friday 1:30AM – Leave bar, fiance convinces cab driver to go through Wendy’s drive through 2:15AM – Arrive home to sleep 4:45AM – Alarm goes off, time to do it again 4:46AM – Unbeknownst to me, receive a call at work from American notifying me that my flight is delayed 4:49AM – Evan gets the same call from American. 5:30AM – Arrive at Mike’s office again, break the news that we have a new flight, but it’s out of National Airport. 6:03AM – Arrive at National Airport for a 7:17 flight 6:10AM – Begin horror of checking in for an America West flight bought with an American Airlines ticket 6:10-7:14AM – Made three runs back and forth between counters, cutting in line and getting yelled at each time (Thanks, Evan) 7:14AM – End horror of checking in for an America West flight bought with an American Airlines ticket and proceed to security 7:19AM – exit security, thirty yards from our gate, only to find that the plane that was supposed to be waiting for us has just pulled away. 7:20AM – Gnashing of teeth, screams of anguish, various cursing 7:22AM – Return to American counter, beaten and depressed. Get booked on Continental flight at 11 8:00AM – Mike throws in the towel. 8:15AM – Nutritious breakfast at Cinnebon accompanied by really bad coffee 9:45AM – Mike leaves the airport, refund in hand. Evan, Sam, and I head to security. 10:00AM – Evan, Sam, and I, one right after the other, are selected for “random” expanded security screenings 10:02AM – Very pleasant gay man gives me a wanding and a pat down 10:15AM – Arrive at our new gate 10:15:02AM – Sit down at airport bar for beer, screwdrivers 10:30AM – Realize our flight is delayed again, and we’ll miss our connection 10:31AM – Wonderful Continental agent gets us on another flight which has already boarded 10:34AM – Surprised flight attendant finds us some empty seats seconds before the doors close 12:00PM – Arrive in Cleveland, slightly surprised Continental agent prints our boarding passes since the first agent had kept them 2:30PM – Arrive in Vegas, start drinking heavily. It sure is nice when your boy has $12 margaritas waiting for you at the pool bar.

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