The age of stingrays is upon us

Stingray leaps into boat, stabs man in chest –

This is somewhat worrisome.  The number of stingray attacks that I’m aware of has risen from zero in the first twenty-eight years of my life to two in the last two months.  The percentage increase in stingray attacks is so large we can’t express it in numbers!  It has to be expressed in abject terror.

Did you see the Simpsons episode where Lisa frees the dolphin, who then brings the other dolphins back to enslave the world?  This is what’s happening now with the stingrays.  You’ll see.  All this talk about the 2008 elections will be moot when Stingy the Stingray is our tyrannical leader, and we’re all slaves in his palace.

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