Tag: Funny

Now the wife loves FireJoeMorgan.com

After watching a batter and a half of the Tigers and White Sox game, the wife now knows why Fire Joe Morgan exists (She’s a Tigers fan, as a Michigan native). I can’t reproduce the quote verbatim, but I can give you the gist. Morgan is talking about Miguel Cabrera, and how the guy is a total failure because he only has two hits, one a home run, in his first 14 at bats of the season. I mean, plainly the guy is done. We should probably take him out back and shoot him. No 25-year-old with 139 career home runs and a 143 OPS+ should be allowed to exist if he only gets two hits in his first 14 at bats of the year. So Morgan is telling us how terrible Cabrera is. He says some ridiculous things that don’t mean anything, and then he says:

[Cabrera] is confused on the count, he thinks it’s 3-1 instead of 3-2. Since it was 2-2, he had to [do something that one would do on 2-2 and not 3-1. I don’t even know.]

Seriously. He barely took a breath in between “it’s 3-2” and “it’s 2-2”. This is not something that one might need to think hard about. The number of balls and strikes is displayed prominently all over the stadium. There is no doubt that there is a screen in front of Morgan’s face that tells him the count. I feel like this is my repayment to the wife – she’s gotten me into Celtics basketball, and I’ve gotten her to appreciate the wonders of Joe Morgan. This is her reaction after literally FOUR batters of Morgan’s commentary.

I don’t even listen to him anymore. I can’t. I don’t understand what he’s saying.

Whats wrong here?

Techdirt: Mitch Kapor Finally Pulls The Plug On Chandler

Every once in a while there would be an update, but many other projects seemed to make a lot more progress than Chandler ever did. So it’s not much of a surprise to hear that Mitch Kapor has finally bailed on Chandler, and that the foundation behind it is going to scale back its efforts.

BoingBoing: Chandler: Free, open calendar with awesome sharing

It’s still very early beta, and there’s a lot of polish missing from the current builds, but in the short time I’ve been using it, I’ve seen it make massive improvements. I’m really looking forward to future releases — give it a whirl, send ’em some feedback, or hack some code.

These two articles were posted about five hours apart.  While they aren’t quite totally mutually exclusive, it’s funny to see BoingBoing singing the praises of this project just as Techdirt announces that the founder is bailing.

Review of a car Ill never buy

The Truth About Cars | Lexus SC430

The seating position is a throwback to bygone era, when rakish drivers knew low meant go; a time before owners of $100k SUV’s looked down on diminutive coupes. Shame the roof is too low for you to look back up at them.

TTAC is often pretty harsh in their reviews, and this one is no different.  The above quote made me laugh.  I’m not sure exactly why, but I thought I’d share it anyway.  They don’t much like the SC430, and I guess that doesn’t surprise me.  It’s always struck me as a car for rich women who want the devil-may-care attitude of a convertible without actually having to be inconvenienced in any way.  I shouldn’t bad-mouth them too much, though, because I think my realtor drives one.  And she’s very nice, and an excellent realtor.

Man, I forgot about McSweeneys

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: The Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush Wish to Return Their Television.

McSweeney’s is a frequently hysterical satire site that I never remember to look at because they don’t have a friggin’ RSS feed.  I don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish – they don’t have ads that you’d miss out on if you looked at the RSS instead of the main site.  There is no reason I can imagine.  And yet still no RSS feed.  On the bright side, when I do remember, there’s usually a bunch of new stuff since the last time I was there.

Frolicking dolphins

On my way to work today, I was behind a girl about my age driving a little Corolla.  I happened to look down at her license plate.  It said “4 RIZZL”.  It was a Jimmy Buffett “Parrothead” plate.  Yes, Virginia offers a Parrothead license plate.  It was in a license plate frame with dolphins on it.

I think I’ll stop now, because there is nothing I can say to make this any funnier.

Warning – box contains decapitated pony

This Is Broken – Warning on Hasbro pony toy

“Adults take note: Pony comes unassembled in box with head detatched. You may wish to not open the box around your children if they may be frightened by a box with a decapitated horse inside.”

I guess it’s nice to warn parents that their children may be scarred for life when they open the box and see that their wonderful new pony is headless.  Although, I’m not sure it’s really the box that’s frightening.  I mean, if you are frightened by a headless pony, I don’t think the placement of the pony inside or outside of a box will make much difference.

Because everyone should read this webcomic

xkcd – A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language – By Randall Munroe

New comic every M-W-F.  Always weird, often roll-on-the-floor funny.  And seriously, how many people do you know who could get a reference to Ubuntu Linux AND Pokemon into a one panel comic?

And if you’re into webcomics, don’t miss Goats and Unshelved, either.