After watching a batter and a half of the Tigers and White Sox game, the wife now knows why Fire Joe Morgan exists (She’s a Tigers fan, as a Michigan native). I can’t reproduce the quote verbatim, but I can give you the gist. Morgan is talking about Miguel Cabrera, and how the guy is a total failure because he only has two hits, one a home run, in his first 14 at bats of the season. I mean, plainly the guy is done. We should probably take him out back and shoot him. No 25-year-old with 139 career home runs and a 143 OPS+ should be allowed to exist if he only gets two hits in his first 14 at bats of the year. So Morgan is telling us how terrible Cabrera is. He says some ridiculous things that don’t mean anything, and then he says:
[Cabrera] is confused on the count, he thinks it’s 3-1 instead of 3-2. Since it was 2-2, he had to [do something that one would do on 2-2 and not 3-1. I don’t even know.]
Seriously. He barely took a breath in between “it’s 3-2” and “it’s 2-2”. This is not something that one might need to think hard about. The number of balls and strikes is displayed prominently all over the stadium. There is no doubt that there is a screen in front of Morgan’s face that tells him the count. I feel like this is my repayment to the wife – she’s gotten me into Celtics basketball, and I’ve gotten her to appreciate the wonders of Joe Morgan. This is her reaction after literally FOUR batters of Morgan’s commentary.
I don’t even listen to him anymore. I can’t. I don’t understand what he’s saying.