Open letter to the world

Dear Inhabitants of Planet Earth,

Let’s just say you’re a human being.  The other inhabitants are unlikely to be able to read this, and I don’t hold them responsible.  Those human beings who don’t speak English, if you become aware of this letter, please let me know, and I will provide a translation.

Now that we’ve established that you’re a human being, let me give you a scenario.  Let’s say that you’re walking with three coworkers to Caribou Coffee.  As you reach the door from one side, a dashing and handsome gentleman reaches the door from the opposite direction.  As your coworker opens the door, the gentleman on the other side of the door holds it, allowing you and your other coworker to pass through, after which he follows.

I happen to know that the gentleman would be happy if you thanked him with a brief nod, perhaps a quick “thank you”.  I also happen to know that none of you offered either.  Nor did you offer any alternative method of giving thanks.  I happen to know this because the gentleman is me, and all three of you are BAD HUMAN BEINGS.

That is all.

Love, Complaint Hub

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