Now the wife loves FireJoeMorgan.com

After watching a batter and a half of the Tigers and White Sox game, the wife now knows why Fire Joe Morgan exists (She’s a Tigers fan, as a Michigan native). I can’t reproduce the quote verbatim, but I can give you the gist. Morgan is talking about Miguel Cabrera, and how the guy is a total failure because he only has two hits, one a home run, in his first 14 at bats of the season. I mean, plainly the guy is done. We should probably take him out back and shoot him. No 25-year-old with 139 career home runs and a 143 OPS+ should be allowed to exist if he only gets two hits in his first 14 at bats of the year. So Morgan is telling us how terrible Cabrera is. He says some ridiculous things that don’t mean anything, and then he says:

[Cabrera] is confused on the count, he thinks it’s 3-1 instead of 3-2. Since it was 2-2, he had to [do something that one would do on 2-2 and not 3-1. I don’t even know.]

Seriously. He barely took a breath in between “it’s 3-2” and “it’s 2-2”. This is not something that one might need to think hard about. The number of balls and strikes is displayed prominently all over the stadium. There is no doubt that there is a screen in front of Morgan’s face that tells him the count. I feel like this is my repayment to the wife – she’s gotten me into Celtics basketball, and I’ve gotten her to appreciate the wonders of Joe Morgan. This is her reaction after literally FOUR batters of Morgan’s commentary.

I don’t even listen to him anymore. I can’t. I don’t understand what he’s saying.

Orioles win again, and the hold is even stupider than the save

Holy cow, the Orioles won again! That puts them at 4-1, in first place. I know it doesn’t mean much at this point, but I bet that most analysts wouldn’t have expected them to be three games over .500 at any point in the season, so this is encouraging. And they did this one with a two out, ninth inning rally to turn a 2-0 deficit into a 3-2 win. Here’s where the stats get ridiculous. ESPN reports a stat called a hold. It’s basically given to a pitcher who enters the game in a save situation and leaves without relinquishing the lead. It’s utterly absurd, and this game is a perfect example. Eric O’Flaherty entered the game to pitch for the Mariners in the bottom of the ninth, when they led, 2-0. He allows a double to the first batter, who then advanced to third on a groundout and scores on another groundout. A single then ends O’Flaherty’s night. He gets a hold because it was a save situation, and he left with his team still winning, 2-1. Mark Lowe comes in and gives up a single and a walk to load the bases. A wild pitch and a single later, and the game is over, a 3-2 Orioles win. O’Flaherty is charged with 2 runs in 2/3 of an inning, but because the tying run didn’t score until he left the game, even though it was charged to him, he gets the hold. Lowe gets the loss because it was his baserunner who eventually scored the winning run. Too bad for Mariners’ starter Felix Hernandez, who pitched a fantastic eight innings of shutout ball. He, of course, gets nothing for his trouble.

Hey, look, this isn’t about baseball

Neil Gaiman – my life in green and purple

Because it seems to me that giving away an e-Book with a hardback is an excellent way to grow the e-book world, and something that a publisher could do at little or no cost.

The Orioles won last night, BTW. Anyway, this seems like a pretty awesome idea. A new guy at Harper Collins is considering giving away a free e-book and audiobook copy of a book which you have just purchased. As Neil says, “of course buying the book would give you the audio and the text, not just the object”. This is something of a radical idea compared to what most people are used to, but it could really grow the market for non-paper books. Growing the market for non-paper books is a good thing for authors and publishers (And the manufacturers of e-book readers and MP3 players and a whole mess of other industries who might be prescient enough to hop on the bandwagon) and, most certainly, book readers (or listeners). As I’ve mentioned (And as Techdirt has mentioned roughly 8 billion times), the marginal cost of producing another copy of an e-book or audiobook in digital format is nothing. Therefore, the cost of these goods should go to zero, as well. This makes them terrible things to try to sell, but wonderful things to use as promotional goods or just as “Hey, we (unlike you, recording industry) really do like our customers” rewards. I have some ulterior motives here – I’m hoping that the e-book market grows until someone puts out a cool e-book reader for a reasonable cost. I currently have 26 free and legal e-books saved on my computer. I’ve only read one of them, because reading a book on a computer screen really sucks. But I’d like to read the rest of them.

Barry Bonds – collusion or just not worth it?

I know, this is becoming a baseball blog, but no one is complaining, and I don’t have anything else I feel like writing about. Many sportswriters are up in arms over Barry Bonds not being on anyone’s roster. Many people argue that he had a very productive offensive season last year, and would surely help someone this year, especially an AL team in need of a designated hitter. Many go on to accuse baseball of colluding to not sign Bonds. Oh, they say. It’s not possible that no one could overlook the off-field problems and sign him. I think this is absurd. If you only evaluate the cost/benefit of Bonds’ bat in your lineup, then certainly he is valuable to many teams. This would suggest that teams are colluding, although it certainly wouldn’t prove it. But what about the rest of it? What if he goes to jail? How will the fans react? I would rather the Orioles not win another game this year than sign Bonds. You can’t measure his impact on the team by only looking at his bat. And most of the other things he brings to the table are really, really bad. He does seem to boost attendance, which saddens me. I’ve never seen him play, and I’m glad. I realize that my opinions here are influenced by the fact that I hate Barry Bonds and the impact he’s had on baseball. I know he takes probably more than his fair share of the heat for the steroid problem, but he’s brought a lot of it on himself with his attitude. I don’t want him to set foot on a baseball field ever again. I don’t want to read articles about him. I don’t want him in the Hall of Fame. If it does turn out that the owners are colluding to keep him out of the game, fine. Punish them appropriately. But to ignore the mountains of negative baggage he brings with him when imagining why a team might not sign him is irresponsible.

THIS HAS TO STOP

Someone found my site searching for “jason varitek nude”. Now, I don’t know how Google decided that I’d be a good result for that. This is the first time I’ve ever used those three words in the same post. I guess I shouldn’t complain, since the person who found me that way was a first time visitor. But he or she didn’t stay long, so I don’t expect I’ve gained a new reader. Since there are not, nor will there ever be, nude photos of Jason Varitek (Or any member of the McCain family) here, perhaps this is not the right destination for people searching Google for those things. I mean, seriously. My mother and my mother-in-law read this. There are not going to be nude photos of ANYONE at Complaint Hub. Ever. Do you hear me, Google?

I complained too soon

Box Score The Orioles came back to win last night! Despite Cabrera allowing two runs and then leaving the bases loaded with no outs in the fifth, my new hero Randor Bierd got them out of the jam. He allowed an inherited runner to score on a double play ball, and then got out of the inning. Then Aubrey Huff came through with a home run in the sixth and a go-ahead two run double in the bottom of the eighth for a 9-6 Orioles win! Wow! I might have watched the game, but the Celtics were on TV (Winning their 60th game), and I wouldn’t think of denying the wife her Celtics. Meanwhile, if the season were only two games long, I would be totally wrong on Brian Roberts having an off year. You can’t ask for much more than a .600 batting average and 1.950 OPS (I know, small sample size, I don’t care). Anyway, nice to see the Orioles get a win. In other baseball news, if you read Fire Joe Morgan, you have probably heard their views on David Eckstein. If you don’t, you can read them here. I hope to see an article from them today about how Eckstein managed to score using nothing but grittiness and his monstrous, monstrous heart. Eckstein has nine at bats this season. In eight of them, using his bat, he has managed to get zero hits, one strikeout, and hit into two double plays. But in his first at bat last night, he used his “intangibles” and made Jason Giambi commit an error, allowing Eckstein to reach first base! I didn’t watch the game, and the ESPN box score doesn’t specify, but I suspect that Giambi was mesmerized by the dirt on Eckstein’s uniform, despite the fact that he was the first batter of the game. He was so mesmerized that, when Eck weakly hit the ball towards him, Giambi just didn’t pick it up. Now safely on first, Eck really began to shine. It doesn’t show up in any “numbers” or “sabermetrics”, but it was really Eckstein’s heart that allowed him to advance to second base on Shannon Stewart’s single, and his keen baseball sense that sent him around to score on Alex Rios’ single. The other two batters had little to do with it. Edited to add: They posted about Eck, but not about his gritty grittiness grittying a run.

Fire Daniel Cabrera

There is NO EXCUSE for five walks in four innings. Looking at Daniel Cabrera’s career stats is an exercise in frustration. In 2006, for example, he struck out 157 in 148 innings. But he led the league in walks allowed and wild pitches. In 2007, he repeated as the league leader in walks. He capped it off by also leading the league in runs allowed and losses. A friend of mine who plays baseball (amateur, but competitive) says Cabrera has the best stuff he’s ever seen. If you pick through his individual outings, you’ll find some games where he was absolutely unhittable (here, here, here) and some games where no one had to hit him, they could just wait for the walk (here, here, and shudder here). He is obviously an immensely talented pitcher, but at nearly 27, he’s probably not going to suddenly learn control. Unfortunately for the Orioles, the rest of the league knows that, too.

Nike fails the internet

Gizmodo points out that Nike is offering their little running companion device without the iPod starting April 10th. This is good news to me – I’ve been wanting something like that, and didn’t want to spend $200 on a wrist-mounted GPS. $60 is a more reasonable investment. Gizmodo didn’t include a link to Nike’s site, but just copied the press release or whatever it is. I didn’t really read it. So I went to Google and looked up “nike+”. The first hit is the right one, but it’s very, very wrong. Look, Nike, I understand that you’re all about selling your image, not just shoes that I can’t wear because of the high arches and workout clothes that aren’t any better than generic knockoffs from Target. But I’m pretty sure you’re still in the business of taking money in exchanged for goods. I can’t be positive of this fact, because at no time did your website ever suggest that you have products that may be purchased. It hints that there are methods for possessing Nike products, and that you may (nay, should) already possess Nike products. Seriously, Nike, for the amount of money you pay Tiger Woods for six seconds of looking at a camera, you could have a credible online store where customers could give you money and you could mail them products. I will bet you a bazillion dollars that Amazon would make one for you in exchange for some sort of exclusivity deal. I will bet you two bazillion dollars (that’s bazillion with a b!) that a twenty minute search of Craigslist could find you dozens of web developers who would do it for a dozen pairs of shoes. And they would do it without the hideously awful navigation that you currently have on your site, too. If your site contained a “Preorder now!” link which would take my credit card number and my address and send me your product on April 10th, when you release it, there is a good chance I would have given you $60 today. I’ll probably still give you $60 later. But now I’m going to be annoyed about it.

Oh, great, another infielder who can’t hit

This article caught my eye because Alex Cintron was my shortstop in MLB 2005 for the Gamecube after I dumped Tejada – the game decided his skills were declining, and he cost too much money. And now the real Orioles have signed him. Well, great. At age 24, this kid looked like an up-and-coming star. He hit .317 with a 112 OPS+, which are pretty nice numbers for a middle infielder. Unfortunately, he’ll be 30 this year, and his numbers haven’t even approached average since that season. I suppose he’s only expected to back up one of the two kids (Fahey and Hernandez, neither of whom can hit, either), but it seems to me that Cintron doesn’t have the ability to be a good backup, or the experience to be a good mentor.