Cats are not very bright

Based on advice from my friend, the cat whisperer, my cat doesn’t get any food in her dish between the time I go to work and 6pm.  I started doing this months ago when it was either adjust the cat’s behavior or mail her to Abu Dhabi.

It’s now just after 5:30, so she’s getting food very shortly.  Do you know what she’s doing now?

She’s licking the crumbs out of the bottom of the bowl.  I’ve never seen her do that before.  Maybe it’s because the construction next door started back up after the long weekend.

In any event, I’m not exactly sure what her problem is, but I guess I should feed her soon.

Sir, youre going to have to remove your monkeys diaper for inspection

TSA: Service Animals

When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.

BoingBoing posted this today, but they didn’t quote this rule, which is quite possibly the funniest.  I mean, the nerve of the American public, thinking that they can set off alarms and allow their monkey to get off scot free.

“Sir, your monkey is going to have to step over here for further screening.”

It’s worth becoming disabled and getting a helper monkey just for the airport hilarity that this could cause.  Even better than wearing an “enemy combatant” t-shirt through the security line.

Its nice to be a grown-up

There are a lot of hidden and unexpected benefits to growing up.  Many of the benefits are obvious:  You can drive, you have a real income, you don’t get funny looks from convenience store clerks . . . the list goes on.  But then there are the things you never thought about.

Right up there on that list is that you have the maturity to know that there’s nothing wrong with going to bed really early when you’re tired.  I generally go to bed between 11 and 11:30, since I get up at 6:15.  Last night, the wife and I met some friends out for dinner and got home around 9pm.  We were both pretty tired – It’s been kind of a long, stressful week.  So we went to bed at 9:30.

What a difference.  I feel much better this morning.  Sometimes, you need to get a few extra hours of sleep, and sometimes it isn’t feasible to do that by sleeping in.

I won’t be in bed early tonight because I have to take the cat to the babysitter’s.  Her old owners are watching her while I’m at my in-laws’ for Christmas.  And of course I can’t just drive down there when I get out of work, because traffic is hideous.  So I’ll have to wait until 7:30 or so.  It’s an hour each way to their house, and I can’t imagine I won’t stay for a bit (They’re some of my best friends as well as cat-sitters).

So, I have a few recommendations for all of you:

  1. Go to bed really early every once in a while.
  2. Have friends who barely even notice an extra cat for a week.
  3. Don’t drive on 395 in DC at 5pm.

Wood floors

The wife and I have decided that the new home we’re planning to buy is going to have to have wood floors somewhere.  If you’ve never chased a cat across a wood floor, watching her try to get traction on the slick surface, you really haven’t lived.

_No cats were harmed while getting inspiration for this post. _

Special guest blogger

Meow. Hello! I’m Biscuit, the official Complaint Hub cat. I have a little story to tell you. Last Thursday, I was wandering around the house, hungry. I thought I’d make some noise so someone would feed me, but that didn’t work. Those two people who live in my house were nowhere to be found. People are always disappearing like that. Never around when your food dish needs refilling.

So I decided to go look for them, to make sure they weren’t hiding somewhere. I jumped up on the table, and . . . Oh! Something shiny! And string! I played with the shiny thing and the string for a little while. I love playing with string. It just never gets old.

Well, eventually it gets old. And I was still hungry. So I thought, why not eat the shiny thing? That seems reasonable. I mean, if I wasn’t supposed to play with it and then eat it, why would it be on the table?

It didn’t really agree with me, though. And it wasn’t satisfying at all. In fact, it was kind of pointy. I couldn’t really swallow it all the way.

I spent the next day whining about it so those dumb people would fix it, but they just ignored me. And then they disappeared for two days! No one was there to sit with me on the couch. And my neck hurt. If I’d had anything to eat in the last few days since that shiny thing, I would have left them a little surprise, let me tell you.

Finally they got back! But still, they ignored me. “Poor Bis,” they said. “What’s wrong, Biscuit?” They said. My dang neck hurts, that’s what’s wrong! Can’t you see that? But they couldn’t.  The next day, I was still hungry.  The people came home, and I could smell something delicious!  My stomach was growling.  They were cooking shrimp!  I rushed to the kitchen, meowing as best I could to let them know that I, too, would like some shrimp.  They didn’t give me any, though.  But they did give me some other food from a can, so I ate that.  The shiny thing kind of got in the way, but not too much.

Then, the people thought I was getting better.  I tried to tell them I wasn’t, but you know how people are.

Finally, the next day I’d had enough.  My neck really hurt, and I was really hungry.  That’s when they grabbed me and put me in that little box.  I hate that box.  Whenever I get in that box, I’m always somewhere I don’t want to be when I get out.  Sure enough, they opened the box, and I was at the vet!  I hate the vet.  You wouldn’t believe where she sticks a really cold thermometer.  And she put me in this strange, noisy machine, but I guess it wasn’t too bad.  It didn’t hurt.  But then, I had to go to a new place.  It seemed a lot like the vet, so I hid under a desk until they made me come out.

After that, they took me into another room, and they shaved my ankle!  The nerve!  I don’t remember too much after that.  I’m home now, though.  I think I’m going to stay under the couch this week, though.  That seems safest.