My maternal grandmother taught everyone she could to drink gin martinis. I don’t necessarily love her style of martini, but luckily there are lots of different kinds, so nearly anyone can find one they love. Or you can even get one of those ridiculous things full of coffee liqueur or whatever that they serve in a martini glass. Those aren’t real martinis but I’m not judging.
Grandma’s Martini
In many ways, Grandma was a martini purist. To make her signature martini, around 2 pm, measure 4 ounces of gin in a measuring cup. Add a splash of vermouth. Put it in the freezer until cocktail hour.
Unfortunate Martini
Never order a martini from an all-inclusive resort in Dominican Republic. At least, not from the one I went to for a wedding some years ago. To make this martini, pour a shot of gin into a soda glass. Add a bit of ice, then fill the glass with vermouth.
Jalapeno Martini
I don’t know the exact recipe, I had it at a restaurant in New Orleans, but I think it’s jalapeno-infused gin, a bit of sweet vermouth, and a small lightly pickled strip of jalapeno. Delightful.
My Favorite Martini
Grab a bottle of gin. Pour a healthy amount into a rocks glass. While doing this, tell the gin a story about a bottle of vermouth you once saw. Grab a couple of olives. Throw the olives in the [expletive deleted] garbage because olives are [expletive deleted] vile. Look, I tried some really good olives on a food tour in Madrid last spring. They were [expletive deleted] vile. You can not change my mind. Finish your story about the vermouth. Sit somewhere comfortable with your feet up, preferably where there is at least a slight breeze, regardless of the weather. Enjoy.
If none of these float your boat, you can put literally anything in a martini glass and call it a martini. No one will stop you. Go ahead, try it!