Ok, back to baseball. And politics.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Nats 3, Braves 2 What a heck of a way to break in the new stadium. I don’t think anyone could have scripted a better first game at Nationals Park. Cristian Guzman singled on the first pitch a Nationals player saw in the new park. The Nats scored two runs in their first inning. And then Nats golden boy Ryan Zimmerman hit a walk-off home run to win it in the bottom of the ninth. Never mind that the home run was just about the only ball any National hit hard all night, it was still a great win. And, perhaps more surprising, George W. Bush hung out in the announcer’s booth for a few innings after throwing out the first pitch, and actually sounded like a human being. He didn’t talk about terrorism, even when they brought up 9/11. He joked with the announcers, and just generally talked like a baseball fan. I wonder what would have happened (Bear with me here, I know this is a stretch) if he had become MLB Commissioner instead of the President of the US. First, it would save us from Bud Selig, who, despite his recent minor victories in the steroid battle, is still a schmuck and not good for the game. Second, I think many of Bush’s qualities that I hate in a President, I would love in a commissioner. I’d be fine with a preemptive strike into Florida (Or Baltimore) to bring about regime change before another Marlins fire sale. I’d be fine with tax cuts for the richest teams - I think these revenue sharing deals are dumb. if the Yankees and the Red Sox want to have payrolls that are twenty times that of anyone else, let them. The A’s and sometimes the Marlins have proven you don’t need to spend that much to compete, so poor teams shouldn’t be getting handouts. I’d be fine with the commissioner acting as if he were endowed by god with infallibility. The commissioner is supposed to be the final word, and while there are issues on which I disagree with god on how to run a country, I’m pretty sure I’m cool with the way god would run baseball (I’ll bet he’d raise the mound a little bit and abolish Coors Field, for example). As baseball commissioner, Bush wouldn’t be in control of the military, so there would be no waterboarding of Jose Canseco, as much as many people might like to see it. We would still have to deal with the pro-Texas bias, but I think that’s a small price to pay. Too bad no one thought of this about ten years ago.

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