I don’t like to throw away food. I mean, who does? But sometimes you’re left with some kind of random stuff in the fridge, and you don’t feel like going to the store, but you really would like some dinner. What do you do?
Well, if you’re me, today, you order pizza.
Actually, I’m just kidding. What you’d do, if you were me this evening, is go to Hi Market and buy a six-pack of Sierra Nevada, two Vitamin Water XXX’s (Because you’ve never seen that flavor - it’s all rich in antioxidants and stuff), and some corn tortillas. Then you come home and wait for your wife to get home from happy hour. Late, as usual. And her cell phone died over the weekend, and you haven’t replaced it yet, so she couldn’t let you know. It’s okay, though. You just naturally assumed that she’d be late, and it didn’t bother you that much.
Next, you take the leftover onions and green pepper from making veggie burgers the other night. You saute them in some organic canola oil because you just ran out of organic olive oil over the weekend. Then you add some Quorn fake chicken, the spicy black bean salsa you made last week to serve with fish, and serve in the tortillas with some rice.
Your wife might then have to add the tail ends of two bottles of store-bought salsa and a bottle of picante sauce because it’s a little dry, but luckily that’s not enough to give her credit for cooking, so she still has to clean up.
You might later have to do some work, because you’ve been spending a lot of the work day checking your site traffic after not one but two links from Wonkette this week (A slow week, you guess. You swear you’re not paying anyone on staff there. Really.).
Anyway, that’s what you’d do if you were me.