Duck Conspiracy?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Those who know me will no doubt be aware of my feeling that Condi Rice looks like a duck. I think it’s unfortunate - it can’t have been easy for her to have grown up looking like a duck. Kids are merciless. But she seems to have gotten past it, and that’s really an accomplishment that we can all be proud of.

I watched about three minutes of the state of the union last night. That’s about as much as I can stand.  But I noticed something. Nancy Pelosi was sitting behind the President, and SHE LOOKS LIKE A DUCK, TOO! Not only that, but if you look at her haircut, she seems to be actively cultivating the image.

There are a few things that could be going on here. It could be a coincidence that two of the most powerful women in America both look like ducks. I choose not to accept that, because it’s boring. It could be that Pelosi, knowing that her extreme liberalism (And probably her gender) will turn many conservatives away.  So she is trying to emulate one of their own to win favor. This sounds like a reasonable thing for her to do, except that as far as I can tell, she has absolutely no use for conservatives at all, so it may not be that likely.  Perhaps the most interesting possibility is that, some years ago, a poll was conducted that, due to rounding error, determined that what the American people really look for in a strong female politicians is a striking resemblance to a duck.  Hillary, this might be something you want to consider.

I don’t know which of these scenarios is the correct one.  Someday, perhaps I’ll find out.  Perhaps the world will find out.  Hopefully before it’s too late.

Posted in: Politics